The secrets of a successful life in business.

Another Wildly Powerful Successtimonial™

In my continuing quest to overthrow the current business I work for, I waited patiently to make my next move. In this case, I took heed to the advice of a name change. After reading through the “Power of Names” revelation, I was moved and felt the need to take action.

I was lucky enough to have parents that recognized the power of names, thus before I was born, they changed our last name from Winklebottom to Star. Up until three days ago, Mr. Star had been sufficient in asserting my dominance, when a colleague or “upper” referred to me. But, it didn’t possess that certain gravitas that one Mr. Business possessed. After much strain and toil in search of the best name possible, I found my answer in changing my name from Dallas Star to Mr. Certain Doom.

The next day, I had new business cards made up, which I made sure everyone received. Furthermore, I took the liberty of changing my job title from ‘Chief Estimator’ to ‘Exactimator’. The cards are black with gold print, and cast in iron (weighing in at around five pounds a card).

Moving forward, after my “boss” found my business card which I had strategically placed under his pillow, he called me into his office the next morning to express concern. As I entered Gary’s (incredibly weak name) office, he seemed worried. I knew that it was a direct affectation of having to call me by a name which would show how inferior he is.

Gary: “Dallas, it seems that you have broken into my house and made a somewhat threatening gesture, which we now need to resolve.”

Mr. Certain Doom: “If you continue to call me by a name I am not, this meeting is adjourned.”

Gary: “I am guessing that means it was you who broke into my house and you are now calling yourself (fumbles for my card in fear)….. Mr. Certain Doom.”

Mr. Certain Doom: “The meeting can now continue”

Gary: “I am going to file a police report, but I’m not sure that I can technically fire you as no legal action has taken place yet. I’ll be looking into it.”

Mr. Certain Doom: “I’ll be in my office Gary, you know where to find me”

This has proven to be a supremely efficient tactic. Gary acknowledged my power, my gusto and my name. I owe many thanks directly to you Mr. Business. You once again have shown your business acumen and displayed your magnificent insight.

I think it’s safe to chalk up victory #2!

Mr. Certain Doom
Fortworth Industries
Houston, TX

Comments on: "Another Wildly Powerful Successtimonial™" (0)

  1. i always make my own business card through adobe photoshop and ms word, they are satisfactorily made though:`”

    • Great comment David! Thanks for joining the conversation. I’m not sure what your comment means, but I think you’ve taken the right first step: Reading my blog.

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