The secrets of a successful life in business.

Winning By Not Being a Vegan

Today’s strategy is the only strategy I’ve suggested that asks that you do something by actually NOT doing something. And that not doing something is “being a vegan”

In business, you always want to be a vision of power, vigor, and strength for everyone you come into contact with. As soon as someone hears you’re a vegan, that vision is compromised.

Simply put, carnivores tend to be passionate, powerful, get it done kind of individuals. Vegans on the other hand, tend to be elitist, talk endlessly about things that no one cares about, and tend to have thin, wispy body types.

Now, I want to assure my vegan readers out there that I am not making a value judgment on the vegan lifestyle, at least not outwardly. My point here is simple: Vegans are different, and because of that, they are incredibly easy targets. And this is exactly why you can’t afford to be one in business today.

I’ve always subscribed to the belief that the less shots that get taken at you the less chance they have of wounding you, and the better your chances are of ascending the ranks of the business world and becoming a business god of sorts.

Look, sometimes the key to winning is not having a visible weak spot, and when you’re a vegan–love it or hate it–you’ve got a pretty damn big one.

Comments on: "Winning By Not Being a Vegan" (0)

  1. Hi WAB,
    Of all your pearls of wisdom, this is probably the most accurate.
    Well done (or preferably rare)
    Mr B.

  2. Tony Pireston said:

    Remember that the diet of carnivores consists primarily of vegetarians, with vegans being the ‘filet mignon’ of vegetarians.

    Take that for what you will.

  3. WAB,
    I couldn’t agree more, Outward vegans make me want to pull out my violin with bengal tiger gut strings and play them a tune. Then i would feed them the violin and ask, ” How’s that for fiber!”

  4. When vocalizing the subject matter at hand, make sure that you pronounce ‘vegan’ as close as possible to ‘faggot’ so that it’s clear what’s really going on.

  5. Administrator said:

    Fantastic comments guys! People feel really strongly about this topic, and that’s the reason no one should admit to this in the workplace. Well, unless they like not succeeding.

    Mr. B: I feel the exact same way.

    Tony: I don’t want to upset the cannibals out there, but I usually subscribe to the “don’t eat humans” doctrine. Plus, last time i checked this is illegal. But I like how you’re thinking.

    Hug1gt: Great example of how Vegans are automatically a target once everyone knows. Not that I have anything against Vegans per se, but I bet the ‘fiber’ joke would really stick it to them.

    Bo: Another great example of a typical response to Veganism. Though, I think that your language might be a tad strong.

  6. J.Stocks said:


    I’d like to suggest to your vegan readers that should they be unable to make the switch to carnivore, perhaps they can reverse their pitiable image by holding a business meeting at a strip club, proposing after work drinks at Hooters, or occassionly mention that you just finished jerking off in the bathroom (note, it’s best to be specific about which bathroom…ie, the one adjacent to the 3rd floor conference room.)

    Often, when you think of a vegan you think of a flaccid penis, so this might help in that regard.

  7. Administrator said:

    Mr Stocks: While this is a fantastic fix, I think the underlying problem is still there. It’s only a matter of time before it surfaces again. And to be honest, if it surfaces at a strip club, or a Hooters, they might get beat up by a girl, only exacerbating the problem.

    On your second note, I’ve found masturbation mentions for anyone, vegan or not, are very effective in painting a picture of manhood and virility. But honestly, I wouldn’t want some wispy vegan taking our tricks. Let’s keep that one in the brotherhood.

    Thanks for furthering our discussion, these are incredible insights!!

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