The secrets of a successful life in business.

My Four Cents™ – DEC 1-08

Some people give their two cents. Me, I add two more in there so you’re walking out of here with twice the amount of cents (and wisdom) you thought you might be getting. This is the first round of my ongoing dialogue with readers–and the world of business. Thank you for you questions, the response has been almost overwhelming. Thank you for you interest. Enjoy the show.

Hawkman84, from Hickory, NC asks . . . Hey, I was just perusing some of your posts, (great information btw) and was wondering where you get all your animal products? Last time I checked (on thursday), it was still a felony to eat tigers. Do you know anything about endangered species law? Because if you do, it would help with a problem a “friend” of mine is having.

I get most of my tiger jerky, and the other illegal snacks from an Uzbek friend of mine who works out of the back of a local independently owned sub shop. Please do not try to find this man, or he will close up shop, and then “stab me repeatedly” (his words).

The great news here is that you don’t have to eat tiger jerky, or another illegal jerky, you just need a horrible smelling snack for the strategy to work. Find the one that’s right for you (legal or not) and start snacking.

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AmateurFuckTapes69 asks . . . Can you tell us what the big deal is with this financial crisis?

Where I believe it went wrong is that all the financial geniuses, focused too much on creating ever-increasing (and confusing) financial instruments, and forgot about the other part of business success, How they look. They all look like assholes, driving expensive cars, flying in invisible jets, and drinking million dollar bottles of wine.

If they just would have all been driving used Corolla’s, brown bagging their lunch, and shopping in bulk, they would never have been blamed for the mess they’ve created.

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Dolphinluhv wonders . . . Where do you work? And why should I believe that your strategies will get me to where I want in life?

I want everyone to know, that you don’t have to believe these words. I could care less actually. Because if I end up working with you, I want you to continue using your old ways of approaching business problems so I can either take your job, or get a good deal on your BMW when you are forced to sell it.

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Homoface asks . . . Everyone in the office knows me as one thing, the “Birthday Guy”. You know, the guy who makes sure everyone who has a birthday coming up has a cake, and everyone is invited in the middle of the afternoon to have a slice? Is there any way I could use my position to gain an advantage on my coworkers?

This is an interesting challenge. Fortunately, it’s one I have had to consult on in the past. What you need to do here is simple. Next cake you need to pull together, don’t make it from cake batter, make it from PowerBars.

Note: it will probably take about sixty bars to craft an entire cake, but trust me, it will be worth it.

As soon as it takes the birthday person ten minutes just to cut the first piece you’ll soon be known for two things: “Birthday guy”, and “Protein Nazi Buzzkill Guy”.

Comments on: "My Four Cents™ – DEC 1-08" (0)

  1. Another very successful way to deviate on the theme of the birthday cake is to use actual spongs covered with frosting with a nice fragrence like french vanilla.

    Takes a few tries before the person catches on that the cake can’t be sliced. Some great fun there, I’ll tell ya.

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