The secrets of a successful life in business.

Growing a Pair of Business Balls™

There are times in the workplace that you will have to find a way burst out of your business shell, and do something that you’re not remotely prepared to do.

For those times, I suggest you grow a pair of Business Balls™.

The concept of business balls is incredibly easy to understand. Fortunately, it involves no actual growth of new balls, but rather a vivid imagination.

The same way your risk-taking handyman tells you to “grow a pair (of balls)” when you tell him that you’re fine viewing, but you’d rather not touch, the scars he got back in his “gang days”, I like to grow Business Balls™ when I get into these types of situations in my business life. What this does is allow me to give myself the license to act like an asshole, and do what I need to do, before my false bravado tapers off.

Now, when I imagine the balls, they are not real balls, but rather polished steel balls, that hang a little lower than my normal balls. So, I net out at 4 balls total. They are hairless, and I like to imagine I am rolling them around in the palm of my hand–much like Laurence Fishburne does in the Matrix–and absorbing a warm confidence from them.

Note: Do not shut your eyes and lean back in your chair while you imagine this ball growth. Especially in a cubicled environment. It’s best just to imagine the ball growth quickly, and use them to your advantage before they shrink back to their normal size.

Growing a pair of Business Balls™ should get you through those tough spots and keep you on course for an incredibly inspiring business legacy.

Comments on: "Growing a Pair of Business Balls™" (0)

  1. Karen Fargstrom said:

    Something i’m wondering . . . What about for the women? What can we imagine growing in these kind of situations?

  2. Administrator said:

    Great question Karen. I had to give this one a fair amount of thought as I am the farthest thing from a woman.

    I would suggest growing an extra set of breasts, slightly larger than your normal breasts. They can be hairless, metal, or normal, your call.

    This should create the right amount of self-confidence you need to get you through those tough spots.

  3. Doesn’t Lawrence Fishburne twirl the balls in Boyz in the Hood?

  4. Administrator said:

    I think you’re missing the point here MBG.

  5. Hmm, very cognitive post.
    Is this theme good unough for the Digg?

Leave a comment for: "Growing a Pair of Business Balls™"