The secrets of a successful life in business.

The Power of Workplace Snacking

As you may have noticed, much of my business rhetoric deals with shaping how your coworkers perceive you in the workplace.

Snacking is no different. That’s why I developed an easy to follow, two-step plan for Winning with Snacks.

First, you want to get your colleagues to know you are snacking by choosing a particularly fragrant snack. For me, that snack is steroid-infused bengal tiger jerky. Yes, this snack is illegal.

Now, I realize that you may not know the right people to find you this particular snack, but what’s important for readers to note here is that the snack smells horrible. (If you can imagine what burning plastic smells like, multiply that by thirty-two.) Fortunately, all YOU need to do here is make sure the smell of your snack can’t go unnoticed, and you’ll be fine.

Secondly, (and most importantly), you want to stick with that snack for the rest of your tenure at the company. By remaining consistent with your snack, your colleagues will make note of your snacking every time you do it.

The thing they’ll also notice (once the smell dissipates) is that you’re not missing a beat on the productivity front, and (at least in my case) attribute your increased productivity to the steroids in the tiger meat.

Note: In your Facebook status, it will help to reinforce the matter by saying: “is eating steroid-infused bengal tiger meat” to make sure they know about the steroids, and if applicable, the illegal nature of your snack.

I guarantee that fairly soon you’ll have a growing number of colleagues asking you why you don’t take your lunch break, and what the hell you are eating six times a day instead. That’s when you–knowing that your snacking is distracting them from their work–can delight in your win.

Comments on: "The Power of Workplace Snacking" (0)

  1. Jersey Boy said:

    Thanks to this winning tip, I have become very (un)popular with my co-workers. I found a place in the city that has American Bald Eagle sausage. Once heated, smells of death. I tell my co-workers what it is and they become very angry but I tell them that I am a patriot and that they are commies.

  2. Administrator said:

    Jersey Boy, give it time on the sausage. Anything worth having takes work to get. Stick with the strategy, and you will win in the end if your productivity increases.

    In the short term though, I would suggest not calling your co-workers communists.

  3. […] because I’ve found a secret, which I’m going to share with you, the entire Internet: illegal snacks. Now that my workplace snacks are pungent and illegal, my coworkers can not mistake the fact that […]

  4. […] have to eat tiger jerky, or another illegal jerky, you just need a horrible smelling snack for the strategy to work. Find the one that’s right for you (legal or not) and start […]

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