The secrets of a successful life in business.

Solidify your Personal Brand with Business Jooce™

I believe that everyone in the world of business should be able to answer this question: “When my boss looks at me, what do I want him to think?”

Whatever your answer is to this question should inform what I call your Personal Brand.

If your answer is something like: “I want him to think I’m pretty, and that I’m a great dancer” then get the hell off this blog.

If your answer is: “I want him to think that I’m about to take his job because I’m so good at navigating the shifting currents of business”, then you are at the right place.

Follow these simple Steppes for Winning™:

Step 1: Purchase a 10 gallon Coleman beverage cooler with fast-flow faucet.

Step 2: Get a Sharpie

Step 3: Write the phrase “Business Jooce” on the cooler where it is visible to your colleagues

Step 4: Fill cooler with kerosene up to about the half way point.

Note: Do not actually drink the kerosene. The Key to Winning™ with Business Jooce™ is to not actually drink Business Jooce™ but to let your coworkers smell it, and wonder how you could drink a mug of the stuff, much less have the need for 10 gallons of it. Then, sit back and let them attribute this beverage with your meteoric rise into middle management.

Worst case scenario is that a coworker gets curious and actually tries a sip, and then gains an incredible amount of respect for you and your business beverage of choice.

Either way, you’re winning.

Comments on: "Solidify your Personal Brand with Business Jooce™" (0)

  1. I’ve been drinking kerosene for years, and it never fails to give me gas. It’s irresponsible that you wouldn’t point this out to your readers.

  2. confused in business said:

    I am fascinated by your business prowess. You seem to be able to take the villification out of business, but I am confused obout your STEPPES for winning. I don’t see what a grassland plain has to do with kerosene or your business model.

    In physical geography, a steppe (from Russian: степь – Russian pronunciation: [sʲtʲepʲ] “a flat and arid land”, Ukrainian: степ – /stɛp/, Mongolian: тал – tal, Kazakh: дала – /dɑlɑ/), pronounced in English as /stɛp/, is a grassland plain without trees (apart from those near rivers and lakes). The prairie (especially the shortgrass prairie) can be considered a steppe. It may be semi-desert, or covered with grass or shrubs or both, depending on the season and latitude. The term is also used to denote the climate encountered in regions too dry to support a forest, but not dry enough to be a desert.

    Respecting your authoritii however, I will try your business JOOCE and let you know the results.

    BTW, will a five gallon cooler be sufficient. I am only a lower level marketing manager and am a little pinched for cache at the momentous occasion.

  3. Administrator said:

    Great discussion points guys.

    Bo: As I mentioned in the post “. . . The Key to Winning™ with Business Jooce™ is to not actually drink Business Jooce™”

    I apologize for the confusion. In the meantime, I would suggest (though i am not a doctor) stop drinking kerosene.

    Confused in Business: It gives me great joy and a swell of pride in my heart to hear of your fascination with my business prowess. I really love the way you put that, are you in creative writing?

    As far as my Steppes for Winning™ I find that the actual “definitions” of words are less important than how they sound. And quite honestly, many in my field have already trademarked a slew of business related terms.

    Also, a 5-gallon cooler should be fine if you want to be a half-winner at business.

  4. Hey…sorry, you’re totally right about that.

  5. Hey, i just want to say that I think your blog is great
    Thats why Im hoping that you will keep on posting great stuff
    regards, jenna

  6. Appetite comes with eating 😉

  7. I rarely comment on blogs but yours I had to stop and say Great Blog!!

  8. MichaellaS said:

    tks for the effort you put in here I appreciate it!

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